If you give a child a chore, she’s going to smile and ignore you. She’ll dance and play in the usual ways.   When you remind her she has a chore she’ll probably stomp to her room and shut the door. When she’s bored, she’ll ask to use the computer. Then she’ll want a snack.   When you say “no,” she will wonder if you are serious. So she’ll consider doing the chore. Then she’ll... READ MORE

There was a time when bullies were easy to spot.  On playgrounds and sidewalks, in swimming pools and cafeterias, they were the biggest boys.  A “good bully” usually had at least one flunky on his left, one on his right, a few thugs skulking behind.  Bullies knew how to avoid teachers, throw a punch, identify weakness, and instill fear. Today’s bully could be a geek or a girl, an old-fashioned tough-guy, a fourth-grade kid with... READ MORE

A genius possesses rare talents of the mind and heart.  They are usually awkward introverts, strange, muttering fellows who boil vast quantities of complex information down to one useful truth.  Stephen Hawking nestled the universe into a nutshell.  Charles Darwin explained the evolution of all life through the wizened smile of a tortoise.  Jonas Salk pondered millions of polio cells and created the tiny vaccination that rescued humanity. Parenting is not a competitive field, though... READ MORE

Some parents will immediately find the four red flags useful and funny, those for whom the habits of the naughty child are already familiar. We know when our family train has run off the rails.  Reading the short list brings a brief pause, a “yes, indeed” deep breath.  We think of the children we love. We recognize ourselves.   “Emergency!” we quietly scream.  “Mayday!  All hands on deck!”   When parents spot a red flag,... READ MORE

On the field… In the years before soccer became one of the most popular sports for kids in the United States, my father coached high school boys.  He had played and coached football for years, but the politics spoiled the fun.  Soccer was a nerd sport – a few teams of kids too puny to play football, too short for basketball.  My dad loved it. He was the type of coach who never lost his... READ MORE

In the months before our spring wedding, my love and I camped, hiked or backpacked every weekend, most often on the southern branches of the Appalachian Trail.  Old trails led us to unexpected vistas, miles passed, sunlight faded, time stood still. Surprised by love, we needed that time to imagine our life together. One of those weekends, we left the trail early Sunday morning to walk around a lake that bordered a campground.  A congregation... READ MORE

Several years ago, in the hurried hour before young families leave for school, a parent accidentally tipped her large, scalding mug of green tea down her four-year-old daughter’s back.  They spent the next two days in the hospital, treating a painful third degree burn that would eventually heal without scarring. When she returned to school after her stay in the hospital, Mary proudly displayed the bandages wrapped around her torso.  She told her friends how... READ MORE

Our Daughter The summer our daughter turned three, she made her first frienemy.  They had too much in common, too much time together and, I now realize, a fascination with manipulation. One bad day on the preschool playground, she said, her bossy friend told her they could play house or police.  If they played house, our mature daughter had to be the baby.  If they played police, our innocent daughter would have to go to... READ MORE

The year I was born John Wayne accepted his only Academy Award, for his role in the blockbuster True Grit.  Tough guys were cool in 1969.  The little boys I played with in our neighborhood spent a lot of time imitating John Wayne, running through backyards wearing cowboy hats and slinging pistols.  We pretended our banana bikes were horses.  Jump ropes were rattlesnakes lurking in the bushes beside the driveway.  Teachers did not worry... READ MORE

A genius possesses rare talents of the mind and heart. They are usually awkward introverts, strange, muttering fellows who boil vast quantities of complex information down to a simple, useful truth. Stephen Hawking fit the universe in a nutshell. Charles Darwin explained the evolution of all life through the wizened smile of a tortoise. Jonas Salk pondered millions of polio cells and created the tiny vaccination that rescued humanity. Genius and talent are not commonly... READ MORE